Hey! December! Tank tops and flip flops! Icecreams and sunblocks! Goodbye Movember beards and hello my favourite time of year! But the best thing of all… December is my Birthmonth! Yeah me! Whoop whoop!

Ok, ok, nobody cares, sad face I understand lolz it just means I’m getting old, a quarter century this year, one forth away from 100, geez. So this is the part where I gently put my face in my hands and sadly think about where I am and what I should have accomplished with my 25 years of being alive.

Enough sulking, aint nobody got time for regrets. In fact lets just do the opposite and have too much fun coz life is so worth living!

For my Birthmonth I want to have an adventure every day. I’m 25! I’m in my prime! Let’s do this! But girl, what about the budget? Even with end of year bonus, the struggle is real… yes I know, shame, that’s why I gots a plan!

Lets do a whole load of activities that only cost R25! That’s affordable right? But lolz might even sound impossible; you can hardly buy data for R25 where can you even think of having any fun for so lil moolatjies?

Now let me tell you this, if there’s one thing I learnt in my 25 years of being on this planet, has to be that you don’t need much money to enjoy yourself (coz I been poor all this time).

With that said I’m going to make a list of Things to do for R25 *big smiles* Stuff like sunset beach parties, hikes up the mountain and what about R25 tokens to go play games, fire walking, some crafting and let’s not forget eating coz I’m not a foody for nothing. Best believe we going to have a good time.

I’m going to compile a list of them summer specials sourced and delivered on point. Then rate everything and do a lil write up and vlog about the Top 25 things to do for R25. Sounds like I’m winning!

I can’t do this alone though, that’s just sad, come join me, all’s welcome, friend or foe. Actually if you a foe then please stay at home, lolz no that’s a joke. I don’t even know if I have frienemies so please come and introduce yourself.

Anyway, we will be posting dates and activities and got some sponsors on board too so check out The Agency SA’s Facebook page for the details coz they actually going to be doing all my planning coz they awesome. http://www.FB.com/TheAgencySa

If you know of any more events or you creative and can think of more fun activities then pop the agency a mail Hello@TheAgency-sa.co.za

Serious face I can’t wait to get started! #25 #BirthMonth #Summer #Party #BudgetVibes #IknowThisIsntInsta #ButILikeMyHashtags

You keen to join in with the adventures? To check what we getting upto and to confirm that you joining, just fill in this form http://goo.gl/forms/4CuGTUUJNv

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So besides the fact that I’m a huge food lover and I can cook and (prepare yourself for information I cant really disclose) I am actually an accredited “mystery shopper” for an unmentioned very big fast food outlet..shhh

To top that I made a list of some big bloggers/critics/tweeters that have an interest in food who are actually following me on twitter. Took like really long to do coz I had to go through all my followers and read their briefs.I probably misses a whole lot coz I got distracted by the internet- you really can’t blame me for that, the internet is full of hilarious kittens and weird asspeople who are the demon spawn of Procrastination.

But  any whooo- I think this justifies that some people think I’m worth following when it comes to talking about food.

You should follow them too… but follow me 1st 😛 @JT_Wyngaard,  thanks if you already are #foodiehug

In no particular order ….

@WineCoveZA

@PureGoodSA

@hecticnine9 

@TableofATE_UK 

@CafeDijonCT 

@fairwaysCampsB 

@inside_lounge 

@SweetwellFarm 

@TableofATE 

@Karibu_SADining 

@gourmetcoffeeSA 

@devonvalley 

@ErinvaleHotel 

@tourtweetSA 

@Lionel_Lelyveld 

@IntertwEAT 

@ParkInnCT 

@SuccessWeight2 

So now I need to get Flogging!winning a wrap competition on Hectic Nine9

You don’t have to be a hardcore soccer fan to know who Cristiano Ronaldo is but for those who don’t know, he just won World Soccer Player of the Year, again.

The world’s top soccer players put on their matric ball suits and gathered at the prestigious FIFA Ballon d’Or (sounds like an expensive perfume) to dish out well deserved recognition. This is something really good I think but then coz I have an extremely over active imagination I thought that- what if someone wanted to kill all the good soccer players in the world, then this would be the place to bomb. But then again who would do such a thing….

Then I thought of what just happened in France with the Charlie incident and turns out terrorism is real and people kill coz of their own insecurities… like not getting invited to this fancy perfume party… That’s a legit reason I guess coz then they can get rid of the competition and win the “World’s Best Soccer Player Coz All The Real Good Soccer Players Have Died” Award.

Ok maybe I watch to many movies… but any way, congrats to Ronaldo and all the other good soccer players, they been making people shout at the tv like old aunties watching soapies for years and will continue to cause friendly arguments amongst friends and famlies for supporting different teams Lolz fun times.

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My life is so interesting #not

Posted: January 12, 2015 in Uncategorized

I was thinking bout this… people telling me how interesting and fun my life is… and then I’m like “what? Not true” but I guess it’s coz I find so many things boring that I keep doing new things till I get bored of that too. That’s the difference. I get bored too quickly.. Or the people looking in are just easly amused #noOffence

But enough about me Lolz I need to make some more post about my “interesting life” it’s a new year so I’ll go with this “new year, new me” buzz (my insides are laughing coz I know that’s a lie)

Soooooo I need to find an obsession. I’m thinking bout food. I’m thinking bout food coz I’m hungry . I need to stop thinking bout food. Ok I’m going to write about food.. and other things. App reviews 🙂 Yip that’s interesting! and I can do that coz my tablet and phone is basically the entire google play store Lolz. I’m thinking of writing more about people… and art… and the news (I think I’m getting old coz I suddenly like the news. What’s up with the people getting killed though? We should talk about this #SeriousFace.

Ok any way… That’s that plan. I’m still hungry.
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So I popped in at the Odyssey Fashion show rehearsals …

Hot models, trend setting designers, well organized organizers, and the music is really good too!This is defiantly going to be a show of epic note

The local modeling industry is really small so I was bound to see some familiar faces at their rehearsals. These models look like they in there late-teens-early-twenties, defiantly at their prime and clearly have a passion for modeling and I so see a pro future for them, just some small bits that can defiantly be ironed out as they progress. By the way the models are really hot #takemenow.

Their Choreographer, Richard Carlo Storm Juries is defiantly doing a good job with his classic runway with a bit of extra fun and interaction.

This guy Ziyaad Sakier looks like the main spokes person coz he spoke the most- his on the ball and keeps the models on there toes or should I say heels. The models are at ease with his guidance and stay in good spirits, they really a fun bunch. Ziyaad knows what he expects from this show and it looks like he will be getting it #discipline

I met with Zaakir Jardin the guy who really started it all with his main team Ziyaad Sakir(Director), Abdulla Mia (Director) and they have the support they need from Ternica Petersen (make up artist), Alex Petersen (DJ) and Richard
Juries (Choreographer).

Zaakir been telling me that Odessey is really about these young entrepreneurs seeing the gap in the market for local fashion shows. Their main aim is to be promoting designers and giving this aspiring young hot ones a chance to show off their stuff #likeaboss

Zaakir also mentioned there will be a performance by Johnny Apple- the South Africa’s Got Talent Winner for those who live under a rock and don’t know who that is.

The show will be having some designer names and brands like Stattfords, Icecream & red, C squared, some awesome CPUT student designers and more.

Make sure you keep the 8th Feb 2014 free!You can get tickets at the Door.
Athlone Civic Center will be rocking it.

And I’m not just saying good stuff coz they offered me sweets but they actually are awesome! #ididnttakethesweets

Creatives Unite! Lanbgebaan gets all Crafty with their very own Craft Expo.

From Langebaan Roasted Coffee Bean to hand painted ironing Board Covers, Foods Galore and Quirky gifts and accessories… They have it here!

Obviously to set the mood, there’s “afrikaans treffers” playing in the background- walking past some people and they humming along to songs I never knew existed- shoppers be having a good time.

My buddy Glen Bezuidenhoudt who’s staying in Paternoster (about 40km outside Langebaan) said the things are cool just that its a bit expensive. I guess the prices are really set for the target market since there’s loads of high rollers doing their holiday here.

Crafts expo’s is something I would encourage every lil holiday town to do. Its actually amazing to see how creative some people can be- arts and craft is cool and in Langebaan there’s new ideas, fresh concepts #only_in_langebaan

The expo was running from 27 december to 10 january (9am to 7pm) then the last day is the 11th Jan and they closing at 2pm.
Free entry so its all chilled at the NG Kerk Langebaan, Oostewal street off Uitzig street- if you here you won’t miss it coz there’s loads of signs.

for more info you can pop a mail to Barbra : Bcoetzee@telkomsa.net

(continues)

Suddenly the host whips out an empty bottle and asks everyone to gather in a circle saying with a smirk “no limits.” I protest immediately, I do not want to involve myself in this situation considering the magnitude of guys who would be partaking. They all insisted and yet I declined. Its apparently ”all for fun” they beg me to reconsider. Kelly professed that there is quite I large number of people so chances that the bottle even points in my direction would be slim and suggest I sit opposite her just in case. She demands that I just humor them. I actually do not like being a spoilsport so I rebelliously agreed.

To my amazement the first spin of the bottle happens to point undoubtedly in my direction. I look up at the other end and the guy is already on his way, the bottle missed Kelly. I begin to plead and tell them I don’t think I am prepared to kiss a guy. They all begin to laugh, then, one of the other guest explains that he won’t be kissing me. A sigh of relief but before I could even lower my shoulders someone else adds on to the comment with “not on your face.” My shout “Then where is he supposed to kiss me!” could have been heard by the neighbors. To my surprise the way they play is by giving blowjobs.

The crowd, encouraging me to go on with it, my heart was racing dramatically. Kelly whispered to me“ it’s the same as getting one from a girl.” Her words made sense but usually when I receive a blowjob I actually want one. Still arguing I suddenly find myself blind folded with Kelly telling me that I should just think of some one else and that this would definitely get my mind off “ that bitch.”

I just gave up. I did not know who this guy was. I couldn’t even remember how he looked because there was so much running though my mind. I could feel there were quite a few people involved because some were holding me against the wall and I could feel more than two hands undoing my belt and taking off my jeans at a hasty pace, they knew what they were doing, it felt like they have taken down many before, leaving my underwear hanging at my ankles.

Someone’s holding my penis, I knew this was it and just had my mind as far away from this place as I possibly could. Clutching my un-erect penis, slowly moving towards me, I could feel his breath. Not saying anything he began to lick around my penis head while pulling back my foreskin, slowly starting to move his mouth over the head. He started shoving my penis deeper into his mouth. I started to accept what was happening. As I became erect it became more stimulating. As he thrust his mouth faster and faster, making a popping sound every now and then when he pulls back to far. Enjoyment teed off, I never felt like this before. I place my hand on his head, pushing him towards me as I push my penis into his mouth. His one hand rubbing up my back and bum while his other hand massages my scrotum.

Unanticipated they start counting down, “ 10…9…8…” I never knew there was a time limit, I did not want it to stop but did not want to say anything either. The stimulation only increases as the sound of numbers becomes louder, closer to 1. He stops, I take my hand off his head as I reach to take off the blind fold. Someone is already taking the blindfold off for me while someone else pulls up my underwear and jeans. I looked at him as he was getting up, he smiled and replied to my smile with “your dick taste nice” what am I suppose to say to that, I just laugh and say “lolz, thanks”.

(to be continued…)

(continued..)

It felt like a match made in the heavens, I have never been happier. We had so much fun together; talking hours on end but her exotic sexual talents only increased the excitement. I was fully in love. Juno was the girl of my dreams, the ultimate girl. I know other guys fantasized over her as we walk past arms around the waists. I would feel amazingly pleased when people would tell me how attractive my girl friend looks. Compared to the love shared with Kelly, emotionally as well as physically my satisfaction has been increase to over sufficiently.

Only staying for the last two month of the year it felt like we have connected on a non-describable level that should have taken a lifetime. I really was in love with her. I wanted this feeling never to go away. I arranged to go over with her at least for a week, I had my visa and everything sorted. I planned for it to be a surprise but could not resist just telling her.

I took her to a fancy restaurant and had to let it out but when I did her reaction confused me. She looked at me as if something tragic has happened, going silent, staring at the ground with a lengthened look on her face. Before I could ask her why she did not look as thrilled as I was, she just said that coming over would not be wise. As perfect as my Juno was, she was not the most honest of people. Turns out she has always been in a relationship, apparently an extremely serious one that she would not give up for me.

That girl left me heart broken, my deep depression was nauseating, suicidal, I went from bad to worse. The agony was an obstruction to my natural way of thinking. I become despondent and miserable. I have never felt like such an idiot, completely giving up on love, equivalently on life by and large- the worse day of my life. Before, I would never think a break up would be this hard to cope with, just because I thought I really loved her things turned out the way it did.

Gradually I realized that I have to get over this situation. A struggle but I was getting fed up with people trying to comfort me, telling me all sorts of things. I would just sit quietly, looking away pretend to agree, thinking to myself if I would ever feel that way about someone again, merely making myself more depressed.

As the good friend she is Kelly persuaded me to go with her to a party. I knew I was not at all in the mood but I prefer not to disappoint her, she has been the only person that has noticeably shown a true concern over my life.

The party was at one of Kelly’s gay friends’ houses. We arrived early and I began to get a bit worried because as each guest was welcomed to the party the place only became more filled with guys and an occasional girl, unfortunately having to be lesbian, well there was this girl who said she is not a lesbian but grossly I found out that she was not really a girl either.

I felt a bit out of place but was not really that uncomfortable because I do have many homosexual friends of my own, it’s just that I never knew any one else at the party besides Kelly. Forced to socialize I found out that my little break up problem could not stand up against the emotional distress some of these guys have gone through. I don’t know if they were just trying to get me comfortable or if they were just being dramatic with the description of their heartache.

(to be continued…)

Iv been camping in Langebaan for a while now… I don’t know how long coz I don’t know what day it is (feels like a week) But with camping come communal toilets and coz I’m human (believe it or not) I actually need to make use of these facilities.

I just took a poo… Now ok that’s kinda normal but I was in a serious face “what do I do” situation…

Its like a public toilet for all the campers and while I was pooing the guy in the stall next to me started playing music…I didn’t have any issues, I love music, so much that I wanted to start singing along to the good tunes but like, is that inappropriate? Lolz I don’t know this toilet etiquette coz my parents never thought me what to do in a public toilet.

Then this guy (whoever he is) is like reading my mind and starts singing to the music? Now I’m sitting here taking a poo and iv got these urges to start harmonizing with this guy in the next toilet stall…

I really didn’t know what to do coz I think it would have been so super weird if I started a choir in a public toilet but I just suppressed my urges and was just singing with in my head

I don’t know who this guy was but his music was good. I was done and out before him and took like 5 extra seconds to wash my hands just to get the last of the singing. I never even got to see his face so will never know who he is. Maybe its for the best. I can’t really sing that good any way. #CoverYourEars

I’m still gana be at camp for a while… If fate causes this situation to occur once more then maybe I would sing along… Its just kinda strange but I don’t think I’ll be able to help myself.

#PooAlongs

*rolling on the floor in my head*

Lolz ok so people are actually liking my blogging- who would have thought? Its my 3rd day at this( I think its day 3 coz I’m on holiday and have lost all track of date and time)

To them random people checking out my blog and getting my emails excited with notifications of new followers- lolz how did you even find my blog and what possessed you to even read my crap #YouMustLoveReading

My blogs are all kinda scattered and messed up without much order- that’s coz I’m writing about anything- my brain is just vomiting out words and I’m calling it a Blogazine.

If you have something that you think I might find interesting (by the way, I’m easy influenced) then just let my face know.

Add me on bbm maybe? pin:29D69787 or use the lil birdie method @JT_wyngaard.

One day when I’m big I want to become a even realler blogger (realler is my word that means more real #FYI)

Much love- more bloggs to be posted #ComingSoon